Holiday Stuff-ing

20. Nov 2012 Comments 1 comment

America’s most revered holiday—Black Friday—is just days away, and families across the country are gearing up for the season of giving. Actually, make that “give me.” A few days ago, two women in San Diego got in line (yes, more than 10 days before Thanksgiving) outside a Best Buy to ensure they would be first […]

Dying of Boredom

19. Jul 2012 Comments 2 comments

Remember when we took long car trips as kids and amused ourselves for hours on end by playing The Alphabet Game? You know, where you had to point out an object starting with each consecutive letter of the alphabet before your bratty sister could? And if you both spotted the same object simultaneously, you fought […]

Taking One for the Team

29. Feb 2012 Comments 0 comments

After spending a fun and amusing morning at a wildlife park with my good friend “Christine” and her two young kids (and learning more about porcupine mating habits than I ever wanted to know), Mom asked where the kids wanted to go for lunch. The response was immediate and unanimous: “McDonalds!!!” Christine really, really does […]

To Hear This Message in Toddler, Press 3

11. Jan 2012 Comments 2 comments

I don’t speak toddler. I’ve tried, I really have, and it just isn’t in my vocabulary. I can’t have intelligible conversations with drunk people when I’m sober, and that’s how I feel when I talk to a toddler. So when my friends allow (or worse yet, encourage) their tiny offspring to answer the phone—regardless of […]

Velcro Children

09. Nov 2011 Comments 1 comment

As a childless woman, there’s a lot I don’t know about kids. However, I do know that at birth, the child is connected to the mother via the umbilical cord. This cord is then cut, allowing mother and baby to function as wholly independent beings. It’s that last part that I think some parents don’t […]

Dogma

08. Aug 2011 Comments 0 comments

I recently read a blog by a woman who complained about how her childless friends with dogs constantly offered child-rearing advice based on their experiences as pet owners.  (Now before I even get rolling, can I just say that she must have some odd friends? Who does that? When my friend complains that her child […]

Table Manners

20. Jul 2011 Comments 2 comments

When did “family-friendly” become a euphemism for “anything goes”? I was having lunch with a few friends recently. Seated next to us were what appeared to be a mom, grandmother, and baby. The baby was really cute — until Mom put her  on the table halfway through their meal and let her crawl across it […]

Too Old to Matter

09. Apr 2011 Comments 5 comments

Here in sunny Southern California, we have it all — beautiful beaches, majestic mountains,  wildflower fields, perfect  climate, random freeway shootings. (Hey, I didn’t say it was all good.) So, about that last one…a few days ago, a 21-year-old college student was driving to school around 7:30 a.m. and started having trouble breathing. Eventually, she […]

Dog Ears

19. Mar 2011 Comments 2 comments

You know that unbelievably ear-splitting, high-pitched squeal that only babies and Mariah Carey are capable of emitting? I’ve become convinced that only dogs and people without children can hear it. I’m also convinced that babies are only capable of emitting it in fine restaurants, small enclosed areas and libraries. (Yes, I still go to the […]